Saturday, June 21, 2008

Mammory Memories

Just for defecation and titters, here's a few new pics of Jessica Alba from The Love Guru press kit. What follows is probably the last example of Ms. Alba's glorious pre-pregnancy breasts. Sure, her obvious genetic predisposition to hotness will allow her to bounce back pretty quickly... not to mention her bottomless bank account will probably give her an added "boost". Nevertheless, both you and I will know that its not the same... and never will be again. *sigh*. Still, lets focus on the good times: sweat pouring off your forehead as your frantically gratified yourself to a paused still from Idle Hands... that second, leering glance you had to give that bus-mounted poster for Sin City... the steamy nights you spent dumpster-diving outside of her palatial Hollywood mansion for discarded bras.... ah yes, the joys of youth.
Besides, aside from Jessica Alba, is there any reason to even be remotely interested in this movie? I'm guessing this is Mike Meyers primer for this generation's High School kids who missed out on obsessive quotation of the Austin Powers trilogy six or seven years back. Either that, or the result of divine intervention preventing him from trying to desecrate the Wayne's World movies by turning them into a trilogy. No matter the reasoning, I guess its nice to know that somethings in life will never change: Hot girl + Main Character w/funny accent + Vern Troyer - Wit X three-thousand commercial catchphrases = Mike Meyers summer comedy.

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