Big fucking surprise, everybody: Katie Holmes' acting career is pretty much finished. Apparently, Broadway ticket brokers can't give seats away to her new show. Which is pretty hilarious, considering I still believe that Ms. Holmes saw fit to marry the most psychologically unbalanced man in Hollywood for the purpose of reinvigorating her tepid fame. A few years later, and what do we have: countless tabloid rumors, a failed movie, and a turkey-baster baby that owes 23 chromosomes to the right-hand man of Intergalatic Lord Xenu. Irony certainely is delicious isn't it. Its no wonder Katie has transformed from the girl-next-door to something vaguely resembling a supervillaness. Compare below, and tell me that this girl doesn't spend most of her nights these days planning to foment fear, war and death across the world. .
By the way, since when did hot women go for closeted midget-homosexuals who are so into science fiction that they base their religion upon it? And why wasn't my congregation at St. Kenobi's Church of the Phallic Object never informed?!
Source (Celebitchy)...
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