A Minneapolis, Minnesota bridge collapsed during rush hour on Wednesday evening, killing five and injuring dozens more. The cause of the collapse has yet to be determined, but most sources are pointing to several cracks that had manifested in the welding within the last several years as the most probable culprit.
Now, you may ask: "Why Richard Gere as the avatar of this story?". And my answer (which should've been obvious enough already, you philistine) is that I take it you haven't seen "The Mothman Prophecies". Which is to say, I haven't seen it either. .... Which is to say I'm pretty sure no one else living has seen it either......Basically, as much fun as I could make of you for not getting the reference, if you happened TO catch it, then thats almost more sad.
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I'm pretty sure it had something to do with a moth, a man, and somehow a bridge. So I'll take the next logical step with it, and assume it concluded with a tactical nuclear strike orchestrated by the U.S. military against said "Mothman", as he ruthlessly devoured helpless citizens whilst Richard Gere attempted to save his daughter/girlfriend/wife/mother/random female aquaintance and thus redeemed himself for years of neglect and/or alcoholism. And afterward, they drove across a bridge and died...somehow. And then Aerosmith played over the credits. Thats what happened right? Right?
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What? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED?! Well.....that sucks. Wait, what was I originally talking about? Oh, yeah the Minnesota Vikings, right? Yeah, well, they suck too.
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