Jenny McCarthy has been campaigning across all facets of the media for unorthodox autism treatments recently. McCarthy, whose son is autistic, claims that she has found a regimen that helps off-set the worst symptoms of the disorder through control of diet and vitamin supplements. The former Playboy centerfold claims to have gathered extensive evidence of her approach's positive results by visiting mothers across the country with autistic children, but has been thus far ignored by the medical establishment.Well, to be fair, you can't really blame the medical community for not being able to take McCarthy quite so seriously. After all, up until around five years ago, this girl was known best for being sublimely hot and making fart jokes every twenty seconds. However, to counterpoint that, I'd have to say its at least worth a shot to see if this lady's on to something. Frankly, autism scares the shit out of me. Those guys can kick my ass at Guitar Hero. Perfecting "Through the Fire and the Flames" on Expert?! Impossible!
Although, should autism prove incurable, I'm sure there's some job in the Defense department we are overlooking that these kids would be perfect for. Let them pilot the unmanned Predators or something. However, again, maybe we should listen to Jenny McCarthy's idea before we go with mine. I'll grant that my idea will probably end with a very Orwellian result, involving superchildren hooked up to I.V.'s for sustinance so that they might control our drone armies 24 hours a day without breaks. Then again, all my ideas seem to culiminate in horrific, post-apocalyptic futures. And besides, Jenny McCarthy's breasts have never done me wrong. They are wise beyond their years (12 yrs old for the right one, 6 years for the left).
