Whoreshoes and Hand Grenades

Elisha Cuthbert recently was caught frolicking on a tropical beach with new boyfriend, Dion Phaneuf. And who could blame the Flames for choking in the playoffs if this is what Phaneuf had to look forward to once the season was over. Honestly, I view the Stanley Cup as second only to the Lombardi Trophy in sports significance (and supercedes it in disgusting bodily-fluid count), but even I will admit that the Cup kinda looks like a pile of worm-ridden dog feces when compared to the this particular trophy to the left.

Additionally, we were all nearly privy to a delicious boob-popout during this excursion, only to have the dream snatched away from us by Ms. Cuthbert's irritating self-awareness. Nevertheless, this is probably the hottest I've seen her in quite some time, which leads one to believe that Sean Avery was ACTUALLY soiling her beauty with his goon-ery. In fact, Sean Av---OWWW! What the fu--?! Knock it off, SlapChicken! Is that a fucking cinderblock?! *smash...kersploosh*

Asshole. Excuse me, kids. Someone's a little sensitive about his New York Rangers at the moment, and now I have to collect my brains off the floor. Damn it. I just had these cleaned.