Showing posts with label Disgraceful Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disgraceful Parenting. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Parents are Dumb, too.

A Texas woman threw her two children off of an overpass this morning in an apparent murder-suicide attempt. However, although the trio fell onto another busy highway, all three survived (perhaps because it was only a 22-foot fall). Still, it should be mentioned that the police said all three in question were struck by several cars before they could shut down the roadway. Its been reported that the woman had an argument with her husband at a nearby gas station, and took the two children from the car they'd all been travelling in. From there she walked to the overpass while her unsuspecting husband paid for their gas. The husband drove after her, but arrived only in time to see her go over following the children. All three are in good condition at a local hospital.

I absolutely love ill-planned suicide attempts. Its almost like after they fail you can hear the classic "bwaaa bwaaa" noise. And this one is even better, since now the offending party has to answer not only for her own sanity, but for the lives of her nearly-killed children. Sounds like somebody's going away for awhile. You have to give it to this husband, however. Had it been me, I probably would've come out of the gas station to see them gone and mutter something about my significant other before driving home angry. I would've been into my second hour of Call of Duty 4 before the cops even told me what had happened. My response: "I'll be right down the station, Officer"... and then continue to play for another hour before maybe getting a sandwich... and leaving the state.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Oops, I Neglected My Kids


Before I go any further, let me just point out how hard it is to find a good picture of Britney Spears these days. At this rate, if I have to go any further back in time to find her at a point in her life where she was attractive, I'm gonna be posting pictures of her as a zygote.
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Anyways, Spears was at Los Angeles County Superior Court on Monday for a hearing in a new investigation of allegations of child abuse leveled against the singer, not implicitly but fairly obviously, by ex-husband, Kevin Federline. These charges are reportedly not physical in nature, and stem principally from accusations of neglect in dietary and parenting concerns. Or, for the less legal-ese inclined: "K-Fed totally told his lawyer, who told the District Attorney, who told the Judge, who told Britney's agent, who told Britney's personal assitant, who told Britney that she feeds her babies pizza and soda instead of Gerber formula." Oh, and that she kissed Dave Johnson after the Fall Ball Dance at Stukies Pizza Parlor.
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Seriously, though, is anyone surprised? At all? In fact, I've really got nothing else in the way of Britney-Neglects-Her-Kids jokes. The girl is a vacuous whore, and kinda always has been. Although, this is a perfect argument for my "Childbearing Liscense Program", whereby people must pass a rigorous finanical, criminal and psychological background check before they are allowed to procreate. Britney's application would've been tossed once the clerk noticed she filled out "Kween of Sexi" under "Title" instead of "Ms.".... or that she wrote "Reelly Rich" under "Income Level"..... or that she filled the whole thing out in crayon.... or that the whole thing is covered in barbeque sauce and vodka stains.