Eva Longoria, otherwise known as Muy Caliente de Bano*, is doing what she does best today: showing off her fantastic latina ass down by the shore. As an experiment some time, try searching for on Google Images, and count how many bikini pictures pop up. I stopped counting at elevendy thousand.
.....
*Sigh*. This girl isn't even hot; she is spicy. And I don't mean in that generic "what-a-saucy-lass" kinda way. I mean in that two Guaco Loco's deep into a three hour long Dos Equis' binge after the Puerto Rican parade way. Ah, memories of that lazy afternoon spent under the parade ground bleachers... and those sweet moments Eva and I spent together. Sure, "Eva" happened to be named "Hector", but after all that peyote he gave me, what you see to the left was what I got. Plus the added bonus of a mustache and a mean case of eczema. *dances around to inexplicable horn and electric piano*
I held off on this one for a few days, but alot of buzz was flying around the net in the past few weeks about a forthcoming Eva Longoria sex tape, filmed with husband, Tony Parker. Well, the tape hit earlier this week, much to the chagrin of almost every heterosexual male who owns a computer. Apparently, Longoria's tape was a spoof of the recent fad of leaked celebrity sex-capades, made for Will Ferrell's Funny-Or-Die website. While it isn't really that funny, no more than an occasional strained smile, I will give her credit for headfaking literally the entire blogosphere. But minus two points for catalyzing the largest outbreak of blue balls this year. Furthermore, minus another six points for not doing so before me in person, so I could give her the old "C'mon, baby, you can't leave me like this... I might go sterile... or die... " argument. And before you laugh at that (provided anybody laughs at my sense of humor... ever.), you should know that such an argument works surprisingly well in real life. Its right up there next to "Just the tip, I promise, just to see how it feels..." Ah, remember guys, if she's already naked and in your bed, she's apt to do just about damn near anything. God bless America. 
