Star of the new Indy movie, Shia LaBeouf, announced the title of the upcoming fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series during his presentation of the best actress award at last night's Video Music Awards. An the title of the aforementioned movie: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull*. Which, barring the fact that I have no idea what classical relic this is referencing**, a pretty decent title. However, when you think about it, any random stringing together of ornate sounding adjectives attached to macabre nouns following "Indiana Jones and the...." would work well. Indiana Jones and the Crimson Douche. Indiana Jones and the Autumnal Monkey. Indiana Jones and the Infuriating Computer. Or, more approriately, Indiana Jones and the Tremendous Paycheck. If only the first poster tagline would be: "Not Since Slavery Has A Whip Been This Useful." And before the threatening and offended emails start coming in: which period of slavery am I referring to? I didn't know you were still put off by the Sumerian conquest of the Hittites. What?! Historical Loopholes! Holla!....
* - Someone should tell Indy he can pick that thing up over at Spencer Gifts. It goes very well with blacklight posters.
** - Oh, and yes, with my vast encyclopedia of nerd references, I CAN in fact reference objects that resemble "Crystal Skulls" from fictional antiquity. However, I found it too difficult to chose between a joke about Stargate's Ancient memory device, and Billy Zane's laser shooting, Treat Williams-liquifying skulls from "The Phantom". Both of which grant the user the power to never kiss a girl again.
