Elves Gone Wild

Christina Ricci, the sexiest elf that isn't rendered for a Role Playing Game (lest that game be an exotic adventure through my teenage mastubatory fantasies.... which would make me a Lvl. 981 Deviant by this point), recently appeared in a new shoot for Hollywood Life magazine. Yet again, Ms. Ricci reminds us that breast reductions can sometimes be for the best with these pictures. But it should be clearly noted that this rule only applies if the actress in question is willing to bare them in almost every film she is in. I believe this was all covered in the Beautitudes. "Blessed are those who fear the Lord, and show Him their tits."


Side note: God is a big fan of jello shooters.

The Ladies of the 2008 Summer Box-Office

Looking ahead to this Summer at the movies, there's plenty to look forward to. But in keeping with the percentage of boobs I am contractually obligated to keep on this blog (roughly 98%) compared to any other form of news or commentary, I'd thought I'd just throw out a few of the leading ladies appearing in this season's offerings. A lazy excuse, you say? Well, sir, I say that you have offended my honor. This shall be settled in the way of courtly gentlemen.... with a swine fight. That's right, you heard me. On the next morn, we shall meet upon the King's fields and do battle with live pigs. And victory, my friend, will never have smelt so.... bacon-y.

(Right - Cate Blancett from "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)

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(Gwyneth Paltrow from "Iron Man")

(Maggie Gyllenhaal from "The Dark Knight")

(Christina Ricci from "Speed Racer")

(Anne Hathaway from "Get Smart")

Speed Racer Blows

Speed Racer opened this weekend to pretty abismal reviews by both fans and critics. Thus far the film is running at 35% over at RottenTomatoes.com, and the most frequent comment seems to be summed up as follows: "Lots of bright, almost obnoxious colors, but no story, acting, or humor to speak of".

So, uh yeah.... if you're looking for an orgy of epilepsy, this movie was carved out of shit just for little old you. Otherwise, all other nerds read the "Wachowski Brothers" credit not in the first two "Matrix"-movies/"V for Vendetta" kind-of way. More like "The Matrix Revolutions" and "Bound" kind-of way. Alas, not all is lost, for I must admit that Christina Ricci is still adorably fuckable. Oooooh. Crass.

Seriously though, I will concede that casting her in an anime movie is pretty smart... considering I'm fairly certain she was drawn into life by a hentai artist.

Source (RottenTomatoes)...

Tats Addams

Ah, the perfect way to start off this fine (read: suicide-inducing) Saturday morning: unsolicited exposed celebrity rack. Christina Ricci, best known for being the late M. Bison's gothic daughter and having breast reduction surgery, let the left cat out of the bag recently. Double-stick tape fails again. Hooray for Double-stick tape!
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Though I think it should be pointed out that, despite the aforementioned breast reduction surgery, Ricci has retained a fairly respectable pair. However, is it wrong that whenever I see this girl, I still think of her as Wednesday Addams. Which leads me to believe that having sex with her might conclude in being flushed down a series of hilariously sadistic tubes leading to inexplicable torture chambers. And all the while I'm screaming, a family of homicidal maniacs are snapping their damn fingers and singing. Kinda like a visit to Grandpa's. Only less autoerotic aspyhixiation.
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Some Ricci Appreciation, the pic in question in through the link.

Source (NSFW) (Egotastic!).....