Spaceships with Boobs

Blake Lively, apparently best known for "Gossip Girl", recently joked to reporters that she was "having Brad Pitt's baby"... to which everyone had a good laugh... and then proceeded to jump on their cell phones and frantically contact their fact checkers anyway. Alas, it was actually a joke, and not a very good one at that. And come to think of it, why am I fucking writing about this?! This isn't news even by my standards, and my standards are pretty much just based upon whether or not someone, somehow involved has possession of an attractive female body. Or, possibly, has something to do with spaceships.

Or spaceships with boobs. Thats like the Holy Grail of current events.

Source (JustJared)...

In case you didn't know...

Avril Lavigne is really, really stupid. I'm just making sure thats clear for all of you who haven't read a blog, any blog, in the last three years. I'd venture a guess that the first sentence above is the most often used blog entry title on the internet (besides, of course, the ubiqitous: "Hot Amateur Nude!"; or the million variations of "Lindsey Lohan is a huge fucking trainwreck").

The latest incident happened recently during a concert in Montreal, where she announced that she was "so happy to be back home... in Ontario, Canada". For those of you who are geographically-challenged, as Ms. Lavigne seems to be, Montreal is located in Quebec... not Ontario. Which is quite embarassing, seeing how Avril happens to be Canadian herself.

So, basically, this is the equivilent of someone living in Albany thinking that they actually live in Vermont, and not New York. Which is, admittedly, quite stupid. That being said, I'm quite certain that Avril Lavigne's life is far too occupied by purchasing Gucci wifebeaters to bother cracking open an atlas. And besides, as much as I love our cleaner, friendlier neighbor to the north... what are they going to do about it? Beat her to death with the Stanley Cup? Wait. That might not be a bad weapon. The sheer volume of disease that was embued onto that particular trophy over its scandalous lifetime would probably be enough to strike one dead upon first touch. So I guess what I'm saying is... I need to obtain the Stanley Cup... for its horrible powers.

And then I'll fuck Avril Lavigne. Oh. How uncouth.
Source (IDLYITW)...

Fake Hair... Real Breasts

Jessica Simpson has apparently recovered from recieving the "Mark of the Whore", otherwise known as a kidney infection, and is now out pimping her own brand of hair extensions. To be fair, you've got to give it to this girl: she's got horse-hair on her head, she's been routinely violated by Tony Romo's dirty penis (hence the aforemtioned infection), and of course there is always the knowledge that her relationship with her father is vaguely incestous... but she retains the ability to make me overlook all of that simply due to her sheer, distracting hotness.

Take this lesson to heart, ladies. Ms. Simpson hasn't been the born-again, hot-ass virgin we all knew and frantically masturbated to for years now. Since her divorce, she's fucked half of the douche-bag population of the west coast, requiring only that the next prospective dick be attached to somebody relatively famous. But she maintains the charade of her supposed innocence through constant, mindnumbing stupidity. She has LITERALLY become the only woman on the face of the Earth that I could honestly believe "accidentally" fucked someone. "I couldn't believe it! I tripped, and fell onto it! I swear it was an accident! I would've stopped, but I didn't want to be embarassed!"

I'm not quite sure where I was going with this. I think it had something to do with horse-hair. So without further ado, here's a hot pair of breasts floating beneath some horse-hair.

Source (HollywoodTuna)...

...P.S.: Horse-hair?! Hell, I'd sure ride her! Ahahahaha....haahaha.....ha.....ha--*sobbing* I hate myself.