"Thats the cup of a carpenter..."

OK, you choose. On the left, you have Paris Hilton. Undeniable porn-star skills, but assured penile eroding acidic disease (commonly known as P.E.A.D*). On the right, Christine Lakin**, J-list celebrity status (defined as requiring more than a three sentence explanation as to who she actually is when bragging later to your friends***), but superiorly desirable, suprisingly so, body.


Guess what? Either way, you lose. Or at least thats the way America sees it, as the Oscar-hyped**** The Hottie and the Nottie, starring the aforementioned pair, has already firmly established itself as the frontrunner for "bomb of the year" by scoring an astounding 29 viewers-per-theater...total... for an entire three-day weekend. One would surely ponder why the latter actress was forced to play the disgusting-girl role... slut+hot girl made up to look ugly= success?... but I'll skip the narrow-minded nay-saying and congratulate this film's producers for making a piece of Hollywood history... that will be worshipped by camp-loving homosexual men for decades to come. And in the same month as the Hannah Montana Concert Movie?! OH!.... MY!..... GOD! 2008 is just so.. FAAAAAABULOUS!!!!!*****


Source (TheSuperficial)...



* - A serious disease that I TOTALLY did not just make up. Please, will you help spread awareness in your community? If only for the children.
** - The first girl I ever masturbated to, when I was like 11 or 12, and she was on Step By Step^. Don't ask why. IMAGINE why.
*** - World of Warcraft Guild brothers do NOT count. Seriously, Kevin, move out of your parents basement and go to a bar or something.
**** -Sarcasm (n.) - to praise a person, place or thing in contradiction to actual meaning, usually for the sake of humor.
***** - and yes, I totally am.******
****** - I missed my *'s.

^ = T.M.I does not stand for Too Much Information! It stands for Too Much I'm so frickin awesome.