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Billy Crystal signed a one-day, minor league contract with the New York Yankees today, allowing him to play in Thursdays exhibition game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Crystal, a lifelong Yankee fan, produced the film "61*" years ago, which portrayed the 1961 Yankees season in which Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle competed to best Babe Ruth's single-season home run record. A fixture at Yankee Stadium throughout his career, Crystal will sport the number 60 in honor of his upcoming 60th birthday. Ok. Let's skip the: "Ha Ha Ha, the Yankees are so desperate, they're signing a past-his-prime comedian!" jokes... mainly because they aren't jokes... they're the literary equivilent of a drinking flat Mountain Dew. In any case, I'm more curious about just how much fame it takes to graduate from Fantasy Camp status to actual Contract status. What exactly pushed Billy Crystal over the top? City Slickers 2: The Search for Curley's Gold? Honestly, has he done anything else since then? I'm almost sure he hosted another Oscars ceremony, but I can't be sure. I need to know. If my only ticket into a New York Football Giants uniform is to dig up the bones of Jack Palance and make some second-rate family comedies, then prepare yourself for Huntin' Buddies... a wacky adventure through the Pacific Northwest, where a naive, young male billionaire (yours truly) gets taught about life, love and how to properly kill a Kodiak bear using only a plastic spoon by my grizzled trailguide, Bubs MacBlavin (Palance). Its gold, I tell you! Pure, Hollywood, Exploding Gold! On a side note, why are the only "fantasy camps" sports-related? Why no sexual fantasy camps? Oh wait. The Bunny Ranch. Right. 
All this can be yours... for about $5,000/hour
The New York Yankees secured their 13th consecutive playoff spot last night, destroying the Devil Rays 12-4. This marks the 12th playoff appearance since Joe Torre took the helm of the organization. This win also eliminated the defending American League champion Detroit Tigers from the possibility of reaching the postseason this year. The Yankees, who struggled throughout the first 1/3rd of the season with a 21-29 record prior to May 30 have gone 70-38 since. Several key pitching changes mid-season, coupled with Alex Rodriguez's career-season have propelled the Yanks into the spot of "team-to-beat" in the eyes and minds of most every other team in baseball. .....What did I tell you, fellow Yankee fans? When will all these assholes that give fanship to the only baseball franchise worthy of watching a bad name realize their folly? The New York Yankees merely have the longest spring training in baseball. Literally, the entirety of spring. Nevertheless, I'm not counting any chickens yet, as when you look at that fantastic fact above you realize that the Yankees attaining a postseason spot is not great shakes. Only World Series Championships matter now. And while I think they have an even better shot this year than in the past several, seeing how this will probably be Torre's last season this may be our last shot for awhile. That is, of course, until Donny Baseball takes over next year and proceeds to win exactly 145 championships in a six year span, all with the power of his impressive mustache......Ha. Anyone who knows the Yankees knows that Don Mattingly will never win a championship in pinstripes. And so does Donny. He cries into my bosom every night about just such a fact.....Full Story (CNN)...
Billy Crystal signed a one-day, minor league contract with the New York Yankees today, allowing him to play in Thursdays exhibition game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Crystal, a lifelong Yankee fan, produced the film "61*" years ago, which portrayed the 1961 Yankees season in which Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle competed to best Babe Ruth's single-season home run record. A fixture at Yankee Stadium throughout his career, Crystal will sport the number 60 in honor of his upcoming 60th birthday. 
