Vick Pleads Guilty; I No Longer Care.

Michael Vick, who has officially dominated this blog for the last few weeks, is finally coming to the end of the legal process by which he will be eventually incarcirated. Today, Vick plead guilty to federal dogfighting charges in a Richmond, Virginia courthouse. He is scheduled to be sentenced on Dec. 10. Most have concluded Vick will probably face around a year of jail time, almost $500,000 in fines, and already has recieved an "indefinite suspension", without pay, from NFL commisioner Roger Goddell.

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So, essentially, Mike Vick is done. The Falcons will be forced to finally scout out a new quarterback, not being able to simply wait out an entire season, or possibly two, with a backup Q.B., and hope against hope that Goddell lets Vick play in 2009-2010. Which, if one follows how things work in the NFL, will make Vick essentially unsignable by almost any other team as well. MAYBE the Oakland Raiders, but thats about it. Now, all that remains is for Vick to quietly go to prison, and then be released to disappear into obscurity, occasionally surfacing every five to ten years to film a segment on either Inside the NFL or Real Sports about the entire incident. And from this tenuous position, Vick can contimplate how he's traded temporary fame for eternal infamy, and all possible implications to the phrase "sub-human".

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DMX & Michael Vick share training tips.

Before I get started, anyone who reads this blog should realize that this particular post is going to be long, boring, drawn out and angry. It seems rapper DMX had his Phoenix home searched as part of an investigation into reported animal cruelty. Specifically under nourishment What was his animal of choice you ask? Hmm, I'd give you a guess, but i'm sure you already know due to the title and obvious picture posted. The search yielded twelve pit bull terriers and the cadavers of three more dogs were exhumed on the property. The search also resulted in the discovery of half pound of undisclosed drugs and a plethora of assault weapons. SURPRISE!!!
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As a self proclaimed dog lover this pisses me off to an infinite extent. Particularly because I myself am an American Pitbull Terrier owner. It's "people" like DMX and Michael Vick who will continue to give these dogs bad reputations. All because they'll always want money, this type of money is not regular green backs though. This is blood money, enjoyment and profit at the expense of helpless, suffering animals who know and do only what they are told to. Animals, dog's in specific are a reflection of their owners. I understand there is nothing that says DMX was fighting these dogs, but you'd have to be pretty fucking stupid to not realize that they would be or have been in the past. This isn't a first for him either, he's already pleaded guilty for animalty cruelty back in '02 when 13 pit bull's were found on his premesis in NJ.

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Seriously, I'm sick of this whole Pit Bull fad, bullshit. These assholes are destroying a breed, it's shit like this that lead to BSL (Breed Specific Legislation). BSL is a law that will not allow certain breeds of dogs in certain area's of the world. BSL can rip a dog out of a home at any point and time, wether you have owned the dog for 10 months or 10 years. Wether it's a problem dog or a big mush, it does not matter. This isn't just limited to pitbulls, Rottweiller's and Doberman's are also listed as a "dangerous breed" as per BSL and can even make it hard or impossible to attain home owners insurance.
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If there is any justice in this shit hole of a world these assholes will be eaten by a pack of African Wild Dogs while on a tandem trip to Namibia in search of their career's. Ya' hear that Dave Chapelle?

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Sorry for being single handedly serious and non sensical, I promise this is the first and last serious post I will ever make on here. Unless Keira Knightley accepts my proposal a week from today, then you'll never hear from me again. Or if she finds me in her trash can, either way I will be indisposed.


-SlapChicken-

Another Lil' Vick Tidbit

Mike Vick has more to worry about than merely the federal government and the National Football League. Topping all others, Johnathan Lee Riches, an inmate at Williamsburg Correctional Facility in South Carolina, is now "suing" Vick for $63 billion dollars.
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You heard me. $63 billion. But it only gets more hilarious from there. Highlights from this lawsuit include Riches accusations that Vick stole the pit bulls he used from him, and then set up the dogfighting ring to purchase "missiles from Iran". Vick, of course, needed these missiles after pledging allegiance to Al Qaeda last February.
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This all seems very rational, evidenced by the fact that the suit was filed in handwritten scribble on a sheet of college-ruled looseleaf. Besides, what seems more reasonable than requesting that the aforementioned amount be left infront of the gates of the prison, backed by "gold and silver". Hell, if Michael Vick had "physically hurt my feelings and dash(ed) my hopes", I wouldn't be half as accomidating.
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In all sincerity, I think America would benefit greatly from a law that makes anyone like this (who tries to jump on the proverbial legal bandwagon from a high-publicity court case) officially an accomplice. And then, fire them both out of a giant potato gun into an even more giant overturned helicopter rotor.

The Entire Story (TheSuperficial)...

Vick Considering Plea

Michael "I Should Be Violently Beaten in Public by my Mother" Vick is apparently considering acquising to a plea agreement alongside the other two main defendants in his illegal dogfighting case. According to sources, the agreement stipulates that Vick is sentenced to one year of jail time, and would pay a hefty (yet meaningless) fine. Reportedly, Vick is awaiting a response from the NFL as to how his entering of a guilty plea would effect their own decision on how to reprimand him in-league.

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Listen, this guy isn't a monster. That would be taking alot away from monsters. Michael Vick is more like a virulent insect. A pest, who would serve everyone around him better if he just left us all alone. There is nothing to fear nor respect about him. I could, of course, offer up another alternative punishment suggestion, probably including him being throughly marinated in raw beef before being bound and thrown into a cage of the surviving animals from his "entertainment operation", but that would be a waste of time. Here is what is GOING to happen: Vick will plead guilty (if he has even a basic primate brain, although I will not discount that he may be stuck at the reptilian level) and then he will serve around 5-6 months of a one year sentence, and pay out around 3% of his total 2006-2007 income in fines. THEN, he will vacation at his luxurious estate for another year while on suspension from the NFL, while doing dramatic interviews with Barbara Walters and other various squak box favorites about the entire incident. THEN, he will return to the Falcons, who will have failed to have the foresight to look for a new Q.B. between now and then, and lead them to another spectacular 6-10 season. And Mike Francesa will invent a new form of continuous stroke, which will just cause him to get worse and worse at every new detail as this unfolds, finally foaming blood at the mouth the broadcast before Vick's ultimate return, ultimately leading to his final, and long-awaited, commitment to psychiatric care.

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Psst....Run-on sentences rule. The next time your English teacher tells you otherwise, beat him/her to death under a raging torrent of comma's! MLA-format, my ass!