Sunday, May 4, 2008

The Pride of the Jersey Shore

Isn't it funny how Elliot Spitzer's whore (and I can at long last say that without it having a shred of masoginism attached... well, maybe a shred... but a MANLY shred!) seems to be more famous now than the former governor himself? Well, I suppose you should draw the line between fame and infamy, but nevertheless, everywhere you turn around on the internet these days.... there is this girl.

Anyways, currently Ashley Alexandra Dupre is going through an entertaining legal battle with Girls Gone Wild founder, and douche-bag of the century early front-runner, Joe Francis. This started, as you probably know by now, when Francis approached Dupre shortly after the scandal broke, with an offer of $1 million to pose nude for his company. However, a few days later it came to Francis' attention that he already had plenty of footage of the high-class Hunt's Point counterpart from a few years back, and summarily rescinded his offer.

Skip up to the present, where Dupre then proceeded to sue Francis for $10 million for "tricking her" into appearing on the video. Which, of course, makes perfect sense considering that a prosititute would never willingly expose her body for money or favors. But wait, it gets better. A few days after the suit was filed, Francis released a video tape of Dupre explicitly giving consent to Girls Gone Wild employees... AND re-instated his offer for $1 million, so long as little Ashley agrees to promote Girls Gone Wild.

Its like a Shakespearian romance. Their love is one for the ages, illustrated through the language of passion... which is sometimes confused for poorly-edited softcore amateur porn shot in Cancun, Mexico. An honest mistake, one I've made far too often... let's just say that my oral presentation on The Tempest back in High School got me expelled... from the public school system. And as for Ms. Dupre personally, congratulations. You've attained the ultimate station in life for a New Jersey girl: former escort and now F-list celebrity. Way to be. Aren't you owed the key to the city of Newark now or something?

No comments: