Ok, so maybe she has a penis... so what? Right?... Right?

Well, femdom-enthusiasts, here's something just for you. The only thing is, for you to get it, my female assistant here is going to have to dangle you six feet off the ground and taze your balls for twenty minutes first. Whoa. C'mon, guys... form a line.

So, uh, yeah... Jennifer Love Hewitt took an embarassing picture with her husband. Lets all take a moment to giggle like schoolgirls, and then get back to our normal lives of sacrificing small animals to Vishnu in hopes that she will eventually grant us a naked view of these:

Another One Bites the Dust

Jennifer Love Hewitt is reportedly pregnant. Which, of course, has many local astrophysists greatly concerned that the Moon will be pulled down to the Earth, killing billions. Because... you know... gravity and her already huge boobs. Get it? Pregant chicks get bigger boobs! I'm a fucking comedic genius! Zing!

*sigh* Seriously though, lets take a moment to honor the hot bitches that we've lost to pregnancy this year *cue Oscar deathlist montage music*.... Jessica Alba.... Katie Holmes.... Gwen Stefani... no! I can't do it anymore! Its just so fucking tragic. But, remember, for every cavernous vagina forced upon us, there is a Christina Aguilera, who gives all men hope... that pregnancy is not completely fucking gross, even after you popped out that little crying turd of yours.

Source (HollywoodTuna)...

Jennifer Love Hugetits (God, I'm Crass)

Jennifer Love Hewitt, she of the 2 Breasts, is reportedly set to marry boyfriend, Ross McCall (who?), sometime next year. Then again, those doing the "reporting" happen to be employed by Star magazine. So, you just may want to take that news with 17.5 billion grains of salt. In fact, you might just be better off going to the Salt Flats and licking the ground for a few months. Ah, Star. If nothing else clued me in to your journalistic integrity, it should've been the fact that my extremely senile grandmother read you regularly. Then again, she was something of a warrior-poet. Ah, I remember the time she set the local Fire Department ablaze, and then sat outside screaming, "Figure that one out, you rubes!". She then said something about finishing up where William Wallace left off, and was last seen on a two-man raft heading east.
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Some More JLH:

Full Story (Celebitchy)...