Just a brief New York Football Giants smile for you today. I was browsing through some blogs this morning, when I stumbled upon a site with a fine taste in the ladies. Enclosed are a few pictures of the sinfully attractive Missy Peregrym snatched from this blog. But while I was browsing through, I noticed that this was essentially a hardcore Boston sports fan site, merely peppered with breasts every two of three posts. Therefore, I decided to leaf through a few pages of the archives section, and see just how classy these "diehard" Patriots fans had been in the days leading up to Super Bowl XLII, and how they handled it afterwards.
What follows is a case study in karma. Much like most of the Patriots fans online, this lead-up and let-down follows a fairly predictable pattern. For the ENTIRE regular season, contributors ran the table between statistical breakdowns of New England's supposedly never-duplicated offensive genuis... all the way down to the rambling rant about their ultimate supremacy which reads more like the Bible than it does a reasoned argument (i.e. to believe a word of it, you have to have "blind faith"... and a healthy dislike for logic). Once the postseason comes along, it pretty much just devolves into an obnoxious verbal trashing of every upcoming team, laced with statements of complete fucking surity that not only with the Pats beat their opponent, but will blow them out in record setting postseason victories (it should be noted that every fan purposefully ignores the Patriots defensive drop-off in the last quarter of the season). Finally, comes all of the sure-thing Giants defeat posts, the insulting and name calling, and ridiculous claims about the G-Men being the worst team to ever make it to a Super Bowl.. then playing against the best to ever do it.
And then, finally, after the game we have the same result as around the rest of the net: one, half-hearted, very bitter and ill-thought out argument about how the Giants either lucked or cheated their way to victory... followed by the obligatory "Yankees Suck" comment and the inauguration of this year's baseball and basketball trash talk. So, in honor of all the pitiful children over there in Pats nation, here's a free plug for one of your favorite sites. Too bad you can't change the score back from Feb. 3, no matter how many times you reference the Red Sox world championship. Nice taste in chicks though. Thats about the only nice thing I can say.
NFL Free Agency opened up today, and already they have been a few notable moves. See? I can write about something other than tits and the failures of those who possess them!
- The New York Football Giants, the Champions of the World, lost Kawika Mitchell, best known for his head-fake of the entire New England offensive line in the Super Bowl, which allowed him to provide one of Tom Brady's more painful hits of the night. Mitchell was a beast for the G-Men recently, and is apparently cashing in on his team's miraculous championship run, signing with the Bufallo Bills this morning. While Big Blue is obviously sad to see him go, this was ultimately a situation where this move had far more potential to help the Bills than it did potential to hurt the Giants.
- After nearly letting their surprise breakout Quarterback slip away, the Cleveland Browns re-signed Derek Anderson for a three-year deal worth $20 million. Fears of turning over the suddenly improving Browns offense to the inexperienced Brady Quinn prompted the Browns to secure Anderson at a salary he couldn't have possibly hoped for anywhere else in the league. Most sources point to Anderson's earlier refusal to accept deals offered by the Browns as merely his desire to field offers from other teams after he became a free agent after midnight last.
- Randy Moss and the New England Patriots have yet to announce a deal, as of the time of this posting. Rumors has it Moss is being looked at by both the Dallas Cowboys and Philadelphia Eagles, although most find it hard to believe the Patriots would allow Moss to move to another franchise. Nevertheless, as of this moment, last year's best Wide Reciever remains up in the air. UPDATE (3/4/08): Randy Moss has re-signed with the New England Patriots in a 3-year deal worth $27 million.
I'm not going to pretend that I will keep updating this as news develops, but I'll hazard the guess that another Champion Giant will be leaving the Meadowlands soon, with Gibril Wilson most likely heading to Oakland. That being said, the Giants will probably recruit Cornerbacks heavily in the draft, and don't be surprised to see at least one mid-level "name" find its way to Big Blue during the offseason.
Frankly, as long as Strahan comes back, I don't give a shit.
Jessica Simpson is being sued by Speedfit for $10 million claiming breach of contract. She supposedly agreed to make an excercise video, but *pulled out at the last minute. The company is also suing dad, Joe, as well. "They are hurting millions of fat people in America", claims Speedfit.
Don't get me wrong, Jessica should not agree and then agree to disagree on anything that she does. Does that make sense? Wait, nothing has made sense since the supposed greatest team in NFL history, the New England Patriots, lost on the biggest sports stage ever, the Super Bowl, to a team everyone thought wouldn't make it to the playoffs, the New York Football Giants, in one of the greatest Super Bowls ever played, which included the greatest play in Super Bowl history, the Giants were the first No. 5 seed to win the Super Bowl and Eil Manning won the MVP, which proves he is equal to Peyton, the Giants won 11 straight road games.**. But do you seriously think that millions of people would have bought this video? And even if it hit a million sold, don't you think that I would have bought all 1 million copies for myself? I think that if she put out a video, millions of fat nerds would have bought it and not actually worked out watching it. Unless you call "level-grinding"sessions to be "watching an excercise video". Yea, that's what I'm going to call masturbation from now on, "watching an excercise video". I love Jessica Simpson. I am now going to "watch an excercise video".
*I would never pull out if I was inside of her. She would undoubtedly get pregnant from my titanium sperm, and have to spend the rest of her life with me.
**No, it is not a run on sentence. When using enough commas, no sentence is a run on. Plus, Mercury Morris instituted a new rule: When speaking of about Super Bowl XLII, it encouraged to place commas in the sentence as much as possible. The more commas, the more it adds to the excitement regarding the biggest collapse in sports history. And you must put "and" in the middle of the sentence.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2007-2008 NFL World Champions: the New York Football Giants!
Holy shit. I mean, honestly... HO..... LY...... SHIT. Did that just happen? Did I just hallucinate that whole thing?! The Giants won the Superbowl?! The Giants WON the Superbowl! Hahahahahaha..... Ahahahahahaha.... Ha. I just can't express the magnitude of the sports-gasm I had on the night of February 3rd, 2008. Truthfully, there is a small, 15-second, blackout in my memory following the gatorade being poured over Coughlin's head. One moment, I'm sitting on the couch, preparing for the massive coronary that was undoubtably on its way... and the next, I'm outside, running up and down the street screaming "WORLD CHAMPS! WORLD CHAMPS!". Grown men crying... airhorns bellowing... and obnoxious, bragadocious cell phone calls to friends from anywhere north of Durham, CT.
Let's recap: 1) Sunday, January 6th... The New York Giants defeat the overrated Tampa Bay Bucs, 24 - 14, winning their first playoff game in the Coughlin-Manning era, thereby securing their own jobs (which, at least in the case of Coughlin, would've been lost almost defintely had this game been lost) and sending the Giants to an unprecedented playoff meeting with their rivals, the heavily favored Dallas Cowboys. Already, in the eyes of most Giants fans, this season is a success. 2) Sunday, January 13th.... The New York Giants defeat the top-seeded Dallas Cowboys, 21 - 17, inflicting the most soul-crushing loss upon Dallas in the last decade, perhaps ever. Eli Manning outplays Tony Romo, who is considered by most of the professional football establishment to be the young Quarterback that Manning was once supposed-to-be. R.W. McQuarters intercepts the ball in the end-zone with 26 seconds remaining to seal the biggest upset of the season, sending the G-Men to the legendary home of the Green Bay Packers and pitting young Eli against the greatest Quarterback thus far in NFL history, Brett Favre. 3) Sunday, January 20th.... The New York Giants defeat the mythic Green Bay Packers, 23 - 20, by an overtime, 47-yd field goal by Lawrence Tynes, after the kicker had previously missed two significantly closer attempts in the fourth quarter. This time, Eli outplays the God of Football, Favre, himself. This NFC Championship, fought on the famous/infamous "frozen tundra of Lambeau Field" becomes an instant classic... and suddenly the Giants are showing an signs of a team of destiny. and then.... 4) Sunday, February 3rd... The New York Football Giants defeat the previously-undefeated New England Patriots, 17 - 14, to accomplish the greatest upset in football history and claim the Superbowl Championship. Following the exponential improvement of his postseason journey thus far, Eli Manning does the impossible, according to the sports media of the world, and outplays Tom Brady. The Giants come together as an epic force of pass-rushing, sound running, and impeccable passing offense... and unseat a team that was only sixty-minutes earlier regarded as the best single-season team of all time. Manning's great escape, and impossible connection with relatively-unknown David Tyree on 3rd and five during the game's final moments, will be a moment remembered in New York until the day the city is razed to the ground... and probably long afterwards. Seconds later, Eli connects with Plaxico Burress for the game-winning touchdown and a trip into history... a history where they will be somehow better remembered that the Patriot team with which they contended.
Honestly, I could rant a hell of alot more... and probably will before next season starts. But I'll wrap this up with the bullet point version of why this victory is so sweet, and then let any Bostonian tell me that they've had a moment in sports that even comes close to equaling something with so many, sweet, sweet layers of celebration: - "The Miracle in the Desert" - Eli Manning to David Tyree. - Eli Manning... Superbowl MVP.... - ... the year following his older brother, Peyton. - Strahan finally gets his ring... alongside the greatest rushing companions he's ever possessed in Tuck and Umenyiora. - Tom Coughlin has become the leader New York has craved since Parcells left. Given a few years more, maybe better... - The Rebirth of the New York "Fuck Boston" sports moment, dead since 2004. - The Greatest "Fuck Boston" Moment yet. Worse than Buckner, worse that Bucky Dent, worse than Aaron Boone. - Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs wear Championship rings now... Tiki Barber does not... - ... and almost certainly will never go to the Hall of Fame now. - Eli Manning, NYG Franchise Quarterback. - "The Giants Secondary actually played the ball on Brady's last moment hail mary passes!" - Shoving Brady's arrogant scoff at Burress' prediction right back in his face... sorry Tom, you didn't even score 17. - I wish I could taunt the Patriots coach after this game... but he suddenly disappeared from the field with 1 sec. left... -... and only showed up a few days later to answer to allegations of cheating... -... and blew the game by going for it on 4 and 13, as he had all year to great, if unsportsman-like, success instead of going for a field goal... which is the exact point difference they ended up losing by... -... and was overall, thoroughly outcoached by Tom Coughlin. - The Patriots dynasty is now immediately lowered to below that of the 49ers and Steelers, and now can never attempt to equal them again.. unless they start all over again. - The Giants dynasty is just getting ready to begin. - We "Stomped You Out"! - Eli outplays Romo... then Favre... then Brady. Suddenly, that Manning name makes sense. - "The Miracle in the Desert"... two miracles, one play... deserves to be mentioned twice. - The Parade in the Canyon of Heroes, where I stood five yards from Strahan, Manning, Coughlin and the Lombardi Trophy. - and, of course, because the New York Football Giants are World Champions.
Just a brief New York Football Giants smile for you today. I was browsing through some blogs this morning, when I stumbled upon a site with a fine taste in the ladies. Enclosed are a few pictures of the sinfully attractive Missy Peregrym snatched from this blog. But while I was browsing through, I noticed that this was essentially a hardcore Boston sports fan site, merely peppered with breasts every two of three posts. Therefore, I decided to leaf through a few pages of the archives section, and see just how classy these "diehard" Patriots fans had been in the days leading up to Super Bowl XLII, and how they handled it afterwards.
