Whoreshoes and Hand Grenades

Elisha Cuthbert recently was caught frolicking on a tropical beach with new boyfriend, Dion Phaneuf. And who could blame the Flames for choking in the playoffs if this is what Phaneuf had to look forward to once the season was over. Honestly, I view the Stanley Cup as second only to the Lombardi Trophy in sports significance (and supercedes it in disgusting bodily-fluid count), but even I will admit that the Cup kinda looks like a pile of worm-ridden dog feces when compared to the this particular trophy to the left.

Additionally, we were all nearly privy to a delicious boob-popout during this excursion, only to have the dream snatched away from us by Ms. Cuthbert's irritating self-awareness. Nevertheless, this is probably the hottest I've seen her in quite some time, which leads one to believe that Sean Avery was ACTUALLY soiling her beauty with his goon-ery. In fact, Sean Av---OWWW! What the fu--?! Knock it off, SlapChicken! Is that a fucking cinderblock?! *smash...kersploosh*

Asshole. Excuse me, kids. Someone's a little sensitive about his New York Rangers at the moment, and now I have to collect my brains off the floor. Damn it. I just had these cleaned.

Queen of the Puck Sluts

I don't really want to talk about hockey these days. Mainly because SlapChicken's beloved, and my...uhh... behated (?), Rangers are still in the playoffs... at least until the end of today. Unfortunately, my poor Islanders have retreated to the usual playoff hockey arena... namely their own basements, where they drown their sorrows in alcohol and highlight reels from the early 1980's.

However, it seems Elisha Cuthbert loves hockey so much, that she has to spread her love (and possibly climedia) around the NHL all year round. First, she soiled herself by screwing Sean Avery, but now she's moved onto the greener pastures of.... Dion Phaneuf? Huh? Um, ok... sure. Anyways, I find this pairing slightly less irritating due to the fact that Phaneuf plays for the Calgary Flames, and not the aforemetioned "behated" (that's right, NOW it is a term) Rangers. Still, though... what exactly is it about these hockey dudes that seems to get these girls all riled up.

What? Oh, she's Canadian? Never mind then. I'm pretty sure their Prime Minister would fuck Phaneuf. Right infront of the thirty-story tall golden statue of Wayne Gretsky they keep outside of their capital building.

Guess Who 's Back, Bitches

That's right, after months of her not appearing and the disappearing, Elisha Cuthbert is back to her former glory. The hot girl from "The Girl Next Door" fame is back and hotter then ever. Seriously though, would anyone not sleep with her, even when she went down hill for about a year? That's what I thought. Yes, Keinada, my common law husband, put up pictures of Miss Cuthbert in a bikini a couple of months ago. She did look good, however, she was not a as hot as she once was. These pictures are proof that I can once again get the box of kleenex out, lay flat on my back with my pants around my ankles and think of Elisha Cuthbert tickling my toes. Although, didn't she really fall off in hotness as she got older? Mainly because she is of the age in which she is able to make her own decisions, therefore not choosing to sleep with me. Probably because I have a baboon penis. Think about it.

More Pics(TheBlemish)...
-Cambodian Monk-

It Must Be Summer (Elisha Cuthbert)

Elisha Cuthbert, former star of "24" and a handful of should've-been direct-to-DVD movies, recently buddied herself up to everyone's favorite... person who would be off dead? Honestly, I got nothing when it comes Paris Hilton anymore. What could be said of her that hasn't already been said about my own asshole? An animate, gaping orifice which also happens to be full of shit. But, in a more seasonal spirit, here's some pictures of Elisha looking like she just failed an audition as a backup dancer for Huey Lewis' "Sports" world tour. Those are like the alpha-male of sunglasses, she's got there.

More over at the king of self-indulgent, yet delicious, sarcasm (TheSuperficial)....