Billy Crystal signed a one-day, minor league contract with the New York Yankees today, allowing him to play in Thursdays exhibition game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. Crystal, a lifelong Yankee fan, produced the film "61*" years ago, which portrayed the 1961 Yankees season in which Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle competed to best Babe Ruth's single-season home run record. A fixture at Yankee Stadium throughout his career, Crystal will sport the number 60 in honor of his upcoming 60th birthday. Ok. Let's skip the: "Ha Ha Ha, the Yankees are so desperate, they're signing a past-his-prime comedian!" jokes... mainly because they aren't jokes... they're the literary equivilent of a drinking flat Mountain Dew. In any case, I'm more curious about just how much fame it takes to graduate from Fantasy Camp status to actual Contract status. What exactly pushed Billy Crystal over the top? City Slickers 2: The Search for Curley's Gold? Honestly, has he done anything else since then? I'm almost sure he hosted another Oscars ceremony, but I can't be sure. I need to know. If my only ticket into a New York Football Giants uniform is to dig up the bones of Jack Palance and make some second-rate family comedies, then prepare yourself for Huntin' Buddies... a wacky adventure through the Pacific Northwest, where a naive, young male billionaire (yours truly) gets taught about life, love and how to properly kill a Kodiak bear using only a plastic spoon by my grizzled trailguide, Bubs MacBlavin (Palance). Its gold, I tell you! Pure, Hollywood, Exploding Gold!
On a side note, why are the only "fantasy camps" sports-related? Why no sexual fantasy camps? Oh wait. The Bunny Ranch. Right.
All this can be yours... for about $5,000/hour
No comments:
Post a Comment