Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Can we trade the Invisible Jet for Invisible Clothes?

Rumors are flying around the net this morning that Jessica Biel, she of the flawless body, is being cast as Wonder Woman for the upcoming JLA adaptation. Of course, every indication has... ummm... indicated that this film will be CGI, however nerds still cannot be swayed from any breath of hope that this all will end with Ms. Biel swinging a golden lasso that makes you tell the truth.
....
Yes. Jessica Biel is hot. And yes, it always fun to see hot women portray comic book characters. But honestly, whats so fucking attractive about Wonder Woman? Sure, the costume allows for minor cleavage. And I suppose that those who are leg-inclined enjoy the generous view of her pins that the costume provides. But I can think of about 73 more revealing comic book costumes I'd rather see this girl in. Frankly, I think the nerds who are still getting all hot and bothered over this are probably those who went through puberty in 1974. Which would make them about 40 now.... and still living in their parents basement. NERDS OF THE WORLD, HEAR ME! The time has come to let natural selection take its course. For no early twenties nerd can associate with a mid-40s nerd without feeling vastly uncomfortable.... and mildly nauseated by the sheer volume of Cheetos crumbs laying upon the shelf that is their man-breasts. Let us rise up, and once and for all let them know that Logan's Run and The Prisoner suck. Its people like these that let Dr. Who back onto American television. Listen, the future from the 1970's perspective is about as likely to occur as my third testicle suddenly no longer glowing so that girls might not shriek in horror* whence I layeth them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a dump in a certain, poorly-acronymed, London phone booth.
Olivia Munn looking good in Wonder Woman attire... but then imagine her, or Jessica, as say.. Starfire for starters.

Source (IWatchStuff)....

* - Horror = Brainless Lust

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