Joe Francis is Insufferable Tool

Joe Francis, founder of Girls Gone Wild and professional douche-goblin, has reportedly issued a press release from prison. In said release, he offers Vanessa Hudgens, of Disney Channel and webcam-nudity fame, $500,000 to appear on a future edition of his aforementioned lukewarm pornographic* enterprise. While precisely nobody waits for Vanessa's answer, which will be an unequivical "no" (that is if she responds at all), we are all left to wonder just how we could call a country like ours so great when it allows a meathead, date-rapist walking cancer like Joe Francis to get so wealthy. It doesn't surprise me that this guy has half-a-million to throw away on something like this, considering he's worth about 0.5 solar masses of gold bullion. And who do we really have to thank for that? A bunch of fat, pimpley, very sad males who need to hear the high-pitched, drunken squeals of girls not hot or proficient enough to be actual pornstars, just garden-variety sluts. So, listen up America cause here's our chance to make a difference! For just pennies a day, we can buy these sad losers computers, so that they may at long last experience free, plentiful and actual pornography. With your help, we can make sure that Joe Francis spends his remaining days first blowing coke in his lonely California mansion, before moving on to just blowing hobo's at the AmTrak train yards whilst living in poverty that would make a resident of Mogadishu cringe. Please help. Only you can insure that I never have to see Joe Francis again.

Source (CrazyDaysandNights)....