Monday, August 27, 2007

Jessica Alba = Hot. Its science. Literally.

Apparently, a group of mathematicians at Cambridge University (who seem to have their priorities in order) have calculated a mathematical formula for determining a woman's attractiveness by measuring one's waist in ratio to one's hips. The perfect formula? A woman's waist should be equal to 70% of her hips. And the most well-known woman who possesses these dimensions: Jessica Alba. Hence, Jessica Alba is scientifically the most attractive woman on the planet. Way to go. Cambridge University just invested serious funds in the same pursuit of that famous and distinguised think-tank we all commonly know as FHM. And just like FHM, they concluded that the answer is Jessica Alba. Watch for the opposition theory starring Halle Berry or Lindsay Lohan from the combined team of Oxford and Maxim later this year..... And then watch for the authentic theory to be released concerning Natalie Portman.... by me.... in the form of several impromptu performance art pieces involving fresh goose down and sixteen gallons of crow blood.

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