Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The Falcons are your next Superbowl Champions!


Atlanta Falcons "star" Quarterback, Michael "I wish I was Vince Young, instead" Vick has been indicted on charges regarding his involvement with an illegal dog-fighting ring in Virginia. If found guilty, Vick could face six years in prison and, of course, the obligatory meaningless fine.
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By the time you get halfway through this article, you start wishing he was Joe Theismann, only instead of getting hit by Lawrence Taylor, he was hit by a Peterbuilt truck (which is actually probably a step down now that I think of it). Some highlights include:
.."...Vick and his co-defendants are accused of training pit bulls and organizing prize fights in which dogs that weren't up to snuff were executed, sometimes by hanging or electrocution."
..and...
.."Various other methods were used to kill dogs that fought or tested poorly, including hanging, drowning, shooting, and in at least one case, slamming the dog to the ground, the indictment says."
..and...
.."...the Falcons phenom and his cohorts engaged in other disturbing practices and that a raid on a home in Virginia uncovered items like "breaking sticks" -- used for prying fighting dogs' jaws apart -- and a "rape stand" used to tie down aggressive female dogs for breeding."
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And since the majority of the evidence in this case was found on Vick's own property, looks like Mikey is going away. For a very long time. But probably not as long as he should. Anyone who knows me, knows that I get about 100x more enraged in regards to cruelty to dogs than I do in regards to cruelty to humans. I could rant about this guy for abou six more pages, but I'll simply say one thing. Look at the picture of the baby pitbull above, and then imagine a multi-millionaire with no redeeming quality except that he was SUPPOSED to be the next generation of running quarterback seems to think its perfectly ok to torture and murder that animal. The punishment for this, logically, should be to reciprocate the same "tough love" he was so ready to give to these animals, however that somehow seems a little light. Frankly, I'd like to see him slowly starved in public, and fed a single piece of bread infested with flesh-eating viruses around every two days. And all the while, people can remind him that, regardless of his "less-than-frog-shit" quality as a human being, he is one of the bigger disappointments in quarterback history. He can't pass, and apparently since college he can barely run either. And no matter of deluded blind faith from brainless Falcons fans will ever change that fact.
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Futhermore, the Atlanta Falcons should be punished as well for making America think that this degenerate was anything more than a pretty fair argument for enforced abortions. Their punishment, you ask? Enjoy. We'll trade him for some semi-used Kotex.

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