Monday, July 16, 2007

Lindsay Lohan out of Rehab


Lindsay Lohan, acclaimed thespian of such cinematic masterpieces as "Herbie: Fully Loaded" and "Just My Luck", has finished her stint in rehab, and apparently is a ready to return to her role as a fully-functioning Long Island-spawned* celebutante: spilling cocktails all over barely-existant dresses, which cover fairly nauseating bodies, before recklessly driving with 7 infant children strapped to the roof. Oh, and doing cocaine. Lots and lots of cocaine.
Best of luck, Lindsay. Be sure to let me know when you decide to be halfway decent looking again. Until then, I'll be posting pictures of Morena Baccarin here in your place. I mean, c'mon, is there anyone out there who really would rather look at you?
What was that? ....... No, Dave, Lindsay Lohan in "The Parent Trap" doesn't count. And frankly, I find it extremely unnerving that you asked**
* - Nothing against Long Island chicks, just those who become famous. With the obvious exception, of course.
** - Unnerving = Sexifing

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