Anti-Asian Defamation League be damned! I will not surrender my one-dimensional, cliched racial accent stereotype jokes!
So, uh...yeah. A series of fairly powerful earthquakes struck Japan over the last day or so, resulting in a breakdown at a nuclear material facitlity. Apparently, both radioactive water and fire* were leaked from the facility, and a cleanup operation is now under way. However, the surrounding countryside has already seen a drastic mutation of Japan's most valuable commodity**. There was the before....and here's the after.
Watch. This will all turn out to be more viral marketing for J.J. Abrams MYYYSSSSTERRRY MOOOOONNNNSSSTTTTTEEERRR MOOOOOOOOVIE (And yes, I expect you to pronounce that last bit out loud, and if any body in your immediate vicinity makes fun of you, hit em with ye ol' hot brick to the face). Then again, pretty soon everything in the world will turn out to be viral marketing for this movie. That cheeseless dollar cheeseburger they gave you at McDonald's? J.J. Abrams monster movie. It rained on both Tuesday AND Wednesday? J.J. Abrams monster movie. Your girlfriend broke up with you? Well......that was just me, man. I'm sorry, but she is like a tractor beam of hotness.***
On a side note, around 800 people died during this disaster. So....uh....*throws exploding smoke bomb on floor and disappears into the night...*
* - Is it just me, or does radioactive fire sound like something you dreamed up in 5th Grade math class as it consumed your school? Ah, Da Vinci can have his canvas, I'll take my marble notebook ruled paper.
** - Everyone knows Japan's actually most precious commodity: Giant Fighting Robots.
*** - Yeah, I'll quote "Talladega Nights". How do you feel about that? THAT JUST HAPPENED!
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