Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony are reportedly preparing to "officially" announce her pregnancy as per several sources. But the real story here is how thankful we all should be that this is happening now, in 2007, as opposed to say 2001. Elsewise, we would be literally drowned in a flood of jokes about how huge this yet-to-be infant's ass will be and/or if the father of this child is, infact, Ms. Lopez's tremedous ass. You could try to fun in terror, but a flood of mediocre stand-up comedians would come crashing down the city streets ala the spreading firestorm in Independence Day. Run! Carlos Mencia! Save yourselves before the phrase "beaner baby" destroys us all! ....
Also, I'm fairly certain Sarah Silverman would show up and take the high road by finding a way to blend a huge ass joke with an abortion joke. And half the country would claims it was clever, and the other half would start calling for her head. And me? Oh, I'm sorry, I was kinda staring at her tits. What was she saying? Something about her tits right? Right?
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