Rule Number 165: Never Let A Fellow Crasher Steal Cambodian Monks Girl

Well it seems that Owen Wilson is still able to troll Hollywood and find another "Hottie" to start to date. Accordings to Star, Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston are apparently an "item". They are currently filming Marley & Me, and have been seen flirting and cuddling off camera according to a cre member. "In between takes they were holding on to each other", one crew member said. "They are very friendly", another crew member told Star.

Now, I am sure that there is something that attracts Jennifer to Owen. Maybe it's the "I tried to kill myself" schtick that I am suuure Owen is still pimping. Oh, stop that, I went there and I'm not taking it back. But on a lighter note, why does he insist on not getting his nose fixed? It looks like Edvard Munch drew his nose on with finger paint. Look at it, it's like the crooked birch tree I have in my backyard. Another thing, what happened to my "pseudo in my dream girlfriend"? I saw her the other night, we had a lovely lunch* together and she was stunning. But it seems that Owen has made her age a little since that night. Don't get me wrong, she is still my number one, but I am not sure that her 40's are going to be a good time for her. I do like her hair in this picture, but she is aging progressively fast. Someone quickly tell her to go back to Never Never Land. Peter Pan should have never let Rufio take her to the "real world" and then leave her there. If anything, he should have dropped her off at the "Dago Ranch"** so that she may be loved and cared for. I would never let her walk on the beach barefoot, those jellyfish are crafty. I hear they can walk on sand now....that was weak I know, but what do you want from me?

Source

*I set up tea cups and a small table with my GI Joe action figures. I taped a picture of Jennifer on all of involved, Duke, Snow Job and Snake Eyes. And I spoke to her as if she was in the room. She never answered my marriage proposal.
**My bedroom....it consists of a mechanical bull and hard wood flooring, for square dancing purposes. There are cowboy hats on the wall along with my underwear hanging over the bar. By bar I mean my closet with the doors open. It's really cool. The whole kit can be purchased for $19.92 from TurnYourRoomIntoADagoRanch.com.

-Cambodian Monk-