New York Rangers, Sean Avery and Elisha "I should be nude in every movie I make" Cuthbert have parted ways after more than two years of *loving, Canadian togetherness. Apparently the split caused Avery to lose his eye sight as he was seen hitting on Paris Hilton a number of times. “He hit on her three times, but every time, Paris would give him disgusted looks and move away from his creepy shoulder-brushing and close-talking ways,” said our snitch. The rebuffed Avery hit on other blonds. “You could tell he just wanted to hook up,” said the spy.
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Some of you may see this as a non-story, but for Ranger fans it's not good news. I mean just think of what magical treasures and powers that can be obtained from coitus with Cuthbert, let's hope Sean's middle name is not Samson. Also, I'm inclined to believe that Sean didn't actually want to hook up with Paris, but had eaten a pound of mushrooms and was actually talking smack to Paris because he thought she was Darcy Tucker. Either way it was a bad idea, to go from clean cut Canadian to dirty....well, do I need to go on? I think you can fill in the blanks.
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*What I mean when I say loving, Canadian togetherness is hip checking eachother, serving infinte minutes for roughing and watch re-runs of SCTV for 2 years. Do you get that joke? No? Good! That means there is still hope for you.
-SlapChicken-
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