Jessica Simpson, who gets alot more attention on this site with every passing day, pulled a Mandy Moore this week, scaring us all with hotness possibly lost, but then making up for it with her own brand of "mmmm". Which, as opposed to Moore's cuteness factor, is actually forgetting to wear a bra for Jessica. Listen, I know she's a singer... or an actress... or whatever the fuck she believes herself to be this week... but when are we gonna call it like it is? Tats-Famous. I know that could be a hell of alot more clever, but its blunt stupidity echoes the reaction of every straight male, gay female... or sexualized robot whenever they see her. No matter the power of your vocabulary, in the end your precise train of thought runs something like this: "Wow, look... Jessica Sim---- Oh my god, those are fantastic!..... Wait... What was I thinking?.... Who am I?... " and so on. All I know is that when I see this girl, endorphines are released throughout my brain. Plus, it reminds me of the single shred of heterosexuality that is still holding strong.... just before I remove the penis from my mouth.Thursday, September 6, 2007
Simpson Recovers Hotness; World Sighs in Relief
Jessica Simpson, who gets alot more attention on this site with every passing day, pulled a Mandy Moore this week, scaring us all with hotness possibly lost, but then making up for it with her own brand of "mmmm". Which, as opposed to Moore's cuteness factor, is actually forgetting to wear a bra for Jessica. Listen, I know she's a singer... or an actress... or whatever the fuck she believes herself to be this week... but when are we gonna call it like it is? Tats-Famous. I know that could be a hell of alot more clever, but its blunt stupidity echoes the reaction of every straight male, gay female... or sexualized robot whenever they see her. No matter the power of your vocabulary, in the end your precise train of thought runs something like this: "Wow, look... Jessica Sim---- Oh my god, those are fantastic!..... Wait... What was I thinking?.... Who am I?... " and so on. All I know is that when I see this girl, endorphines are released throughout my brain. Plus, it reminds me of the single shred of heterosexuality that is still holding strong.... just before I remove the penis from my mouth.
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