Scientists in Paris released a report today documenting their recent study on the most distant planetary object in our solar system, Neptune. In said report, they have discovered that Neptune's south pole is actually in a state of consistent warming. The planet, which has a slow, off-center orbit, has been tilted on its axis so that the south pole directly faces the sun for the last 40 years, resulting in a 18 degree temperature spike in that particular area. The remainder of the planet is estimated at an average of 320 degrees below zero for the rest of its 165 year orbital cycle. .....
And why do I care, you ask? Because this means NASA is getting a little too
close to discovering the location of where I've secreted Vanessa Lengies for the past few months. Looks like somebody shut some mouths over in faire Paris. My interplanetary, pre-general fame actress harem cannot be compromised. Where else will E.T. get his space prostitutes if not from me? I've got various, debatable forms of intelligence coming in from across the Milky Way to visit the Neptune Bunny Ranch. Sorry, French scientists. Business is business. And space prostitutes are the most important business there is. 
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