Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Fuck You, Ms.Stevenson

Method Man, best known for putting a coat hanger on the stove for five minutes and then sticking it in your ass real slow, is reportedly going to give a lecture to NYC schoolchildren about marijuana as per the terms of his plea agreement for an earlier possession arrest. He is supposedly "thrilled" with the opportunity to give back to the community. Personally, I'm expecting a powerpoint presentation that goes something like this:
....
Method Man: "A'ight kids, everything you need to know about weed can be broken down into three, easy steps...."
Children: *break out marble notebooks to start taking notes*
Method Man: "Yeah, yeah, good. That's right, you wanna put this shit to paper..."
Ms. Stevenson: "Uh, Mr. Method, I don't think the children need to learn that kind of languag--"
Method Man: "--Nah, they'll be a'ight. These look some hard motherfuckers. So, as I was saying, first off, you gotta go down to 96th street and see a man named 'Sanchez'. Oh, and be sure to bring yo cheddar with you, cause you know that motherfucker don't front no bags--"
Ms. Stevenson: "Umm... yeah. Mr. Method, I think maybe you should leave---"
Method Man: "--I'll be done in a minute, bitch. Anyways, then you gonna wanna stop down at that ratshit bodega on the corner and grab yo'self a dutch--"
Ms. Stevenson: "That's more than enough! Kids, recess is early today!"
Children: *quickly start to file out of room*
Method Man: "--Nah, nah! Fuck that! C'mon, kids. Its time fo' a Field Trip!"
Children: "YEEEEEEAAAAAH"
Method Man: *gesturing to teacher* "Fuck you very much, Ms. Stevenson. Blaow!"
*Method Man and Children leave classroom as teacher begins to cry*
*one last child stops before leaving*
Child: *in obscenly cute child's voice*...... "Fuck you, Ms. Stevenson!"
*Method Man and school kids role past window in an Escalade*
Method Man and Children together: "Punk Bitch!" *and then hit stereotypical white, fat and balding school principle to the hysterical cheers of the children*

No comments: