Kirsten Dunst was reportedly robbed the other day, as two thieves snuck into her Soho Grand Hotel suite and stole a $13,000 handbag, a wallet, cash, cameras and an iPod. Dunst will now be forced to live out of garbage cans and the leavings of better, stronger alpha-bums to survive following this crippling financial loss.....
But seriously, this speaks to me as more of a lesson in buying cheaper shit. Sure, the lost cash, cameras and iPod are going to hurt the same no matter your tax bracket. But a $13,000 handbag? Does it also air-condition your house? Or comes with a 60" flat screen hdtv? Or stimulate your genitals? Something? Listen, I know that girls demand ludicriously-priced purses/jewelry/shoes, but 13 grand?! You could've literally purchased a county in Sierra Lione for that amount of money?
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta slip on my garbage bag shoes and burlap turtleneck for my job interview with the prestigious 81st Ave. Crack Corporation. Their C.F.O., Mr. D-Rock, sounded very encouraging in his CraigsList ad.
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