Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Historical Figures vs. Celebs: Round 1!


Vlad "The Impaler" Tepes

vs.

"Party Girl" Tara Reid














This is definitely a tough one with both opponents causing great deals of carnage in their own unique ways. Lets get to know them a little bit better.

Vlad "The Impaler" Tepes was the ruler of Wallachia for three separate reigns during the 15th century. He was the inspiration for Bram Stoker's classic novel Dracula. He is alleged to have instituted a great deal of horrific punishments against his enemies. His favorite was impalement, his preferred technique was to tie a horse to each of his victim's limbs and then insert a well-oiled but not too sharp stake into the anus and forced into the victims body, sometimes till it came out of their mouth. If that wasn't enough a French black metal band named them selves, you guessed it, Vlad Tepes. Can he take down one of Hollywood's favorite C-List Celebs!

"Party Girl" Tara Reid (a.k.a. Hollywood Party Girl)- Tara appeared in some of America's favorite(?) teen comedies and dated superstar athletes Sergei Federov, Tom Brady, Jeremy Shock, and some tennis guy, oh and who can forget her engagement to Mr. Why-Is-He-Famous himself Carson Daly. Following here short lived almost-a-career peak Ms. Reid became one of the most infamous of the already despicable party girls of Hollywood. We already know that Tara could drink Mr. Tepes under every table in Wallachia but could she survive his torture methods?!? Well she did have a few rounds of botched plastic surgery and again she was engaged to Carson Daly, I personally think impalement would be less painful.

Who will win this Battle Royale?!?!?!?!?!? Leave your thoughts and predictions in the comments and we will find out the results in a few days!


STeev

1 comment:

Keinada said...

Bypassing the obvious joke about Tara Reid being impervious to getting split by a pole on both ends through years of experience in the matter already, and instead put my vote for Vlad. Only because Tara Reid doesn't succeed at anything she does.... ever. Vlad on the other hand already made his mark on Hollywood... with his award winning performance in "Return of the Pink Panther".