Actor Ving Rhames, star of "Pulp Fiction", "Dawn of the Dead" (remake) and a hundred other roles that call for bald and brooding black men (hmmmm....thats a pretty good band name...) had the most untimely of animal accidents yesterday, when his caretaker was found dead on his front lawn, aparrently the victim of a mauling by four of Rhames' bull mastifs.
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Alright. Lets all be mature about this (I'm looking at you, Fox News). Of course there is a titanic difference between a certain overated (soon-to-be former) pro quarterback running an interstate dog-fighting ring and an accomplished actor's sudden bout of topical misfortune. However, I'm currently organizing a pool to bet on how many times you hear a "SPECIAL REPORT" about "how safe dogs are.....(*dramatic pause*)......really?!" BUM BUM BUM. And everytime one of these journalists* leads off one of their stories with a deadpan to camera saying "But are these animals really.......man's best friend?!" you take a shot. To the temple. From a Desert Eagle.
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*- Journalist (n.) > 1) Previous to the mid-1990's, a profession which involved the objective reporting of current events concerning global socio-politics, culture, and relevant historical developments without ideological bias.
2) After the mid-1990's, a profession which invovled the subjective gossping of current events concerning Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, with occasional interuptions for government propaganda and inflammatory politcal ranting with attractive women in short blond haircuts.
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