Tonya Cooley, recurring reality star of Real World and its subsequent 174,000 "Challenge" spin-offs, is considering full-time employment in the adult video industry. Which is.... fantastic, actually. I know it seems like I should be going through the motions of the dumb blond pseudo-celebrity bashing, but honestly, you can't hate someone for finding the thing they seem born to do. This girl showed up on her incarnation of the ever-slightly worse than the previous season Real World with fake breasts ALREADY. And over time, these fake breasts apparently drew more mass into their orbit and eventually co-opted said material into their selves. Its kinda like watching a Discovery Channel special on Star Death*. Only with tats. Geometrically-impossible tats.
....
Already, Ms. Cooley has appeared in Playboy, Girls Gone Wild, and on Skinemax. At this point, she would be kinda remiss if she didn't at least take a run at hardcore pornography. I mean, look at her. Doesn't it seem like this is something she should've been doing years ago?
.....
* - At this rate, the dual-system of Cooley 121a6-a & 121a6-b, will collapse into a mega White Dwarf in about 2.6 billion years, eradicating the Sol star system, including Earth, and possibly causing a quantum singularity to emerge. At which point, alien teens halfway across the galaxy will look up at the skies and giggle whilst commenting, "Heh, that looks like a pair of boobs."
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