Like every blog known to man, and because I obviously only post non-female celebrity pieces apparently once a fort night, I too am obligated to inundate you with countless posts concerning hot celebs in bikini's all summer long. Why? Because the only thing better than having your hopes of sleeping with these women dashed by overly-photoshopped shoots of them in impossibly beautiful locales, is having your hopes completely eradicated when you see how damn fine some of them look with no CGI help. Of course, Angelina Jolie violates this precept now, but she's also apparently a total dyke, so I don't think you had much of a chance to begin with.
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Before the G.L.B.T.U. starts burning down my house (while looking FABULOUS the entire time, I might add), let me add this: I only post this because I was fairly certain already that Brad Pitt had a vagina. And besides, I'd figure you guys would loathe Jolie enough already if only for the fact that every last straight girl in existance insists that they'd go gay for Angelina Jolie. That's a standard that your average female golfer/SUNY Purchase student just can't live up to.
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Oh, and according to my dad, "dyke" is a clincal term. As in: "Hey son, I grabbed that girl's ass at the bar last night.... and then she broke my arm. She must be a dyke." Hence, my understanding came to be that dykes are people who break arms. Therefore, "homo's" must break legs. Henceforth, Lawrence Taylor is a total homo.
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