Britney: "Remember when I used to be hot...... Yeah, me neither."Well, I've abstained from jumping in on the Britney Spears has lost her damn mind news thus far (the Lindsay-Lohan-has-lost-her-damn-mind was thought-cancerous enough) but I guess this tidbit is as good as any for jumping now. Apparently, Ms. Spears is now convinced that her mother, Lynne (or is it 'Lynn'?... or do I care?), slept with her ex-husband, Kevin "Whoever-thought-I'd-get-out-of-this-looking-better?". Federline, out of spite to her own daughter. While, I refuse to believe that this is true (but I'll admit, there's a huge part of me that hopes it is) I will say that this is absolutely succulent as far as celebrity meltdowns go. Soon enough, she'll be out there claiming that she just realized that her true father is the CocaCola Xmas Polar Bear. And then she'll claim that he is sleeping with Federline out of spite, too. Of course, this will only be released to the press after the country demands explanation for why Spears jumped in the tank at the Brooklyn Aquarium and started eating raw halibut whilst screaming "Who's the Alpha Bear now, Dad?!" over and over again.
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