Apparently, Scarlett Johansson, most famous for having impossibly spherical breasts, is being replaced as the face of Louis Vutton. Her replacement? You guessed it: Mikhail Gorbachev..... wait, what?
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This leads me to reason that the folks at Louis Vutton deem the man most directly responsible for the end of the Cold War as more important than young American girls with supple.... uh... talents. If this is true, then this is a line of thought worse than terrorism. This is a direct threat to the American way of life, namely the whole part about emphasizing physical beauty over professional accomplishment. Why don't you just put the wall back up, Louis? Sure, you may one day achieve a socio-political nirvana. But WE get to chronically masturbate to E! Channel red-carpet premieres sandwiched between commercials for pills that make our penises more efficient and cars that can compensate us should the pills fail. AND THE HOOOOOOOOOME..... OF THE.... BRAAAAAAAAAAAVE!
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Additional Note - The only missing ingredient to working Marxist Socialism:........ $300 Handbags.
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