Friday, August 17, 2007

Simpson's Nose Crushed by Enormous, Top-heavy Brain.




NOOOOOO! Not poor Jessica's nose! That's her most important attribute! Right?!... Right?
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Anyways, it appears that Jessica Simpson, the chairwoman of my local chapter of M.E.N.S.A., broke her nose whilst filming her new project Wildca-errr...uhh...I mean, Major Movie Star. Now, it is not uncommon for actors to injure themselves on set, especially while filming anything having to do with the military... or the action genre period. But most of them don't break their nose. And most of them are rarely ditsy, large-chested blondes who could only be characterized as "awww.. isn't that adorable?" as they run around in their combat fatigues. And after the broken nose, your bloodlust is activated by witnessing those fat, juicy red drops of life spewing forth from this wholesome young girl, and you are driven by insane desire to tackle the injured songbird to the ground and ferociously devour her narcotic hemoglobin to sustain your eternal life!
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*a clamour in the distance*
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Oh no! The villagers have found me! BLEEEUUUGH! *vanishes into the night*
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More (TheBlemish)...

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