Ok, the first of these stories came to my attention the other day, but didn't seem to warrant a post by itself. However, this new addition pushes the issue past critical mass. Canadian singer Avril Lavigne was recently quoted in seperate interviews as first claiming that she "always wears underwear" in contrast to Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and whatever other "ho-bag"* seems to be famous despite a lack of talent; and then going on about how she is prone to stripping nude when drunk and running around in public.
...
Now, most people hate Avril Lavigne right off the bat. I can't tell if its the pop-punk music thing, or the married to Deryck Wimbley thing, or maybe just the fact that she's Canadian thing**. No matter the reason, this should make you love her all over again. Because THAT'S class right there, ladies. Don't go flashing your conch when getting out of the limo at the club, just exit the club later that night bare-ass naked. And furthermore, be sure to let me know which club you plan to go to, providing me also with a plane ticket if its out of state.
...
Seriously though, I get the impression that Avril Lavigne might have the best body that no one knows about yet. Like how Jim Kelly is the best QB to never win a Superbowl. And how Dan Marino is the best QB to never question that previous statement, lest I slap him to death with a gross of Isotoner Gloves.
*- A Clincal Term.
**- Don't ask me why Americans hate Canadians. Maybe its our natural affinity for smoggy air, garbage-strewn city streets, costly healthcare, and desert-climate hockey teams.
No comments:
Post a Comment